Life, Love, Long Hair, Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth, and other mysteries

All this and more, from a semi-Serbian, slightly sane, former editor for physicians and surgeons, who is the mother of seven kids.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Wow, I Love Being Ignored - Don't You? UGH!

Ever write to someone and end up wondering if they even received your message because they don't reply?

So you write again, only to still not receive a reply?

Or how about the infamous typing of a huge paragraph or three, in chat, and the answer is "oh", or "ok", or "yeah".

Or worse, they disconnect without a fare-thee-well of any sort.

Excuse me while I pull my hair out for a moment.

Then there's the seemingly deliberate ignoring of questions in emails.

I've heard it put something like this:

"'Yes' is an answer and 'no' is an answer.  
'I don't know' is not an answer, 
and neither is 'maybe'."

And then there's the flat out silent treatment.

Kinda makes one wonder why they continue talking to such a person.

Are we too nice?  Too hopeful?  Too forgiving?  Or is there no such thing as being "too" any of that?  I really don't know and I always welcome comments.

If it's work-related, that's most frustrating, as one doesn't necessarily want to cut ties with part of their income source, and one must be careful not to be a pest lest they get on the bad side of the other party and lose that income source because of it.

Several years ago when I was in a Laubach Literacy class on how to teach reading to adults, I saw a poster on the wall which said what I now know to be a famous quote from Albert Einstein:

For those reading this via email, I will repeat what is in this poster:  "Insanity:  doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

It does feel a little insane, talking to someone who doesn't answer.

Despite the fact that I have a lot of hair, if I keep attempting to communicate with those who choose to be incommunicado, I may end up with a coiffure similar to that of the famous smart dude in the above photo.

Don't let me get me!

Silence is not always golden.

Silence can feel so lonely.

Oh yeah, hint-hint... did ya know that bloggers LOVE getting comments?  ;)  Say away, whatever's on your mind, even if it's nothing to do with what I'm writing here - even if it's the fact that you've got food stuck in your teeth and it's bothering you right now.

I'm listening.

And I won't ignore you.

Do you hate being ignored?  Or are you somehow okay with it.  I'd love to hear.

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  1. I deal with this on a daily basis, and I am not happy about it. Maybe I want to share a thought that made me smile or brought me a little warmth, in the hopes of somebody else getting the same thing.

    Negligent friends... I just don't understand.

    1. I totally get what you are saying. I strive not to do that to anyone, but occasionally I might miss something inadvertently. Then, if it is pointed out to me in a gentle reminder, I'm like, "OH! I missed that! So sorry."

      I like to give the benefit of the doubt, but when I do gentle reminders and still don't get answers? Hm.

    2. Boy do I get you, nothing like getting the response "thank you" as a reply. When you tell someone doctors feel you may have a potentially fatal illness.

  2. One benefit of using email: the Delivery Receipt and Read Receipt features! :)

    1. Good point. I like that feature in some email programs, and almost always use it when contacting lawyers or doctors. I've been trying to find that on Gmail, though, and so far haven't figured it out yet.

  3. Oh yeah. I hate it. I don't think I've ever knowingly ignored someone before. Sure I might not get a text message for an hour after it was sent if I haven't looked at my phone, but I will still get back to them.
    I'm actually in the position at the moment where one person is completely ignoring me, and after a while I guess I just stopped caring. If they're not going to reply, why ask, right?

  4. I can't speak for others, but I know I have been guilty of not responding to messages, mostly when I was so busy with my job that I simply couldn't keep up to email messages, facebook messages, and even phone messages. I tried my best, and tried to let people know that my job prevented me from getting to all my messages, etc. but I know I disappointed people, from time to time. The way I looked at it, the only alternative was to completely cut off things like facebook, and friends, which, of course, I didn't want to do. I think some people are just rude and careless, but probably most people who do not answer your messages have good intentions, but are busy. They think they will get to it, but something pulls them away from it, then something else, etc., until they have forgotten about it. I would try not to take it personally unless you have reason to believe the person is just being rude and / or thoughtless / careless. Otherwise, I suggest that people should be given the benefit of the doubt. You will probably feel better too if you decide to assume the best about these people instead of the worst. There's my 2 cents! :D

  5. I have a dear friend who will respomd to a four paragraph heartfelt or researched answer with

    Not thanks, this is what I was looking for, just thanks.
    In person, great conversationalist. Online? Not so much.

  6. I talk to myself on a regular basis. I've learned to accept & embrace it. ;)

  7. I've been told before on different occasions that I write books, that I think too much...then again I'm told that the things I write are beautiful. I try to reply in kind. I love your long letters, I have since we started writing WAY BACK in the 90's. Your words are precious to me and I love this blog...It makes me feel more normal, less crazy...I love you my dear friend in Christ :)

  8. Here, here. Being ignored is my absolute worst.

  9. Well, I'm going to pull the "no time" excuse today, as I would love to reply personally to each comment, but work and family are only allowing minimal action here, such as expressing this general but heartfelt thanks everyone who has commented.

    Hugz and gratefulness!


  10. Oops, I see I made a typo... that should say "... thanks TO* everyone..."

    Sheesh... see? I'm in a hurry... haste makes waste... but yeah. :)

  11. was "ting" a typo? (under the photo) lol after all he does look like you know who...

    1. Tanks. I feex. Now it is no longer typo. And seence you mention it look like "you know who", you're right, it does, and now I know who YOU are because of it. LOL!

  12. And furthermore, you have caused me to have an idea... I tink I vill write an entire blog entry in Serbian accent one of diss deys.

  13. I understand how you might apply the "insanity" idea to this, but our optimism makes us hope things have changed so that technically we're dealing with things differently.

    1. It would be insanity to keep trying to talk to someone who perpetually ignores us, so in wisdom, we can choose to quit, even if we don't want to.

      However, you, as usual, do make a good point, my friend. Optimism is a tough thing to kill in some of us.


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