Life, Love, Long Hair, Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth, and other mysteries

All this and more, from a semi-Serbian, slightly sane, former editor for physicians and surgeons, who is the mother of seven kids.

Thursday, 31 May 2012

My Worst Day In Freedom Is Better Than My Best Day In Bondage Ever Was

When people come to my house, they comment on what a beautiful place it is.

I also get a lot of compliments on how lovely my children are, and how organized I seem to be.

But, OMGarsh, woah, holy doodle, let me tell you it is frickin' HARD.

Yeah, I've got seven children.  Pregnancy and childbirth seven times - big enough deal right there already, right?

And yes, I work from home for a living.  I have to.

So so so so much to do.

So much to juggle each day.

One of my sons has some learning disabilities and I home school him.  We do "relaxed" home schooling, so it's not the ultra-structured method enjoyed by some families who educate their children from home (like I did with my older kids till they were 5, 9, and 11), but still, there are challenges involved.

We have a picturesque location, with a view of rolling hills, trees, and a lake in the distance out our big living room windows.  Horses surround us in non-snowy months (none of which are our own, for which I am grateful, having owned and boarded horses in the past and although I love them, they are more work and expense than I've got time and money to do right now.)

My house looks nice on the surface, with its curved wood walls - Gothic Arch style building - but oh the problems this place has.

Like, I cannot think of one door in this house that has nothing wrong with it.

Some of the closet doors have completely fallen off/apart.

The floors creak with every step you take, except for the basement, which has its own set of issues in its poorly insulated state.

The water softener is from 1971 and has given up functionality to the point that our toilets won't flush properly and we have to plunge the one on the top floor after each use.  I found out today from a plumber that we're looking at roughly $800 for a new water softener, plus whatever he charges to install it, and possibly a replaced toilet or three.

I just got completely out of debt last month except for our mortgage.  Now let's just fix those plumbing problems by throwing them on the line of credit.

The lawn tractor is broken.  I wonder how much we'll have to put on the line of credit to get it back from the repair place.  Meanwhile, the grass on our acre of land is causing me to wonder how many old cars are hiding underneath it.

Property taxes are due in a month.  There's no way I'll have cash to pay for it, so that, too, will have to go on the line of credit and be paid off gradually.

Sometimes I want to go sit on the couch with all my kids around me and just cry.

I dearly wish I had a way to spend more time with them and still pay all the bills.

I'm working on writing a book, but with little to no time to squeeze it in, it's slow-going.  It is my hope, like with any writer, that it may sell enough copies to help ease the financial burden I carry.

My husband's work is unpredictable, and he usually works nights.  So, when he does have work, he's sleeping all day, and my shoes look and feel like those of a single mom, doing just about everything by myself.

I don't write this to say, "Feel sorry for me."

I write this to get some of it out of me.

I wish I had something to anticipate.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be overwhelmed forever.

Will the two youngest children ever be out of diapers?

Will my 7-year-old ever learn to read fluently despite his learning disabilities?

Social life?  Ha haha hahaha!  Right.  What's that?

Thank God for Facebook, as messed up of a thing that it can be.

I've been through this before with my first three kids when they were little, waiting for them to be out of diapers and able to read, although in a whole different scenario.  Although I did not have to work for a living, I lived under the rule of a man who expected everything and more from me, and if I didn't foresee his every desire, I paid for it with his wrath.  The details about that will be brought forward in my book, so if you like my writing, keep checking here every so often and you might someday find that such a book will finally be completed.

Although life can be rough at times now, I take comfort in knowing that my most stressful day in freedom from abuse is far better than my best day under bondage ever was.

So, hey, how's your life?  Do you ever feel overwhelmed?
To freedom!

(Video:  "You're Not Coming Home Tonight" by First Aid Kit)

If you like my writing, check out some other entries listed chronologically in the right hand column of this blog.  Here are a few links:

Monday, 28 May 2012

Need More To Read?

Holy sheepdip!  I've gotten nearly 6000 page views on my blog since I started it.

I only advertise about it on Facebook and a few message boards I occasionally visit, plus sharing a link with the odd friend, so I'm surprised by that number.

Out of 59 published posts, and all those views, there are only 193 published comments.

I know a lot of them are repeat offenders, too, coz I've got StatCounter.  Don't worry, it doesn't tell me your name and address, but it gives me a rough idea where my readers are located.

I've been crazy busy lately so I haven't been posting much, but if you'd like to read something, you might want to check out another blog I've got, which is a chronicling of my experience with the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred from a few months ago.

And if you do read it, please comment, even if you don't do the workout.

Thanks for reading.  :)

I leave you with this song - "Who Are You?" by The Who:

Bye-bye, y'allz!

More of my blog entries can be found in the right hand column of this page.  Here are a few samples:

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

10 Random Things I Did Today

Idea copied from a fellow blogger, here and also here.

For those who want something to read but are afraid to ask, here is something with little to no educational content.

Ten random things I did today:

1.  After five hours of sleep, I got up.  :(
2.  Made and ate oatmeal (see this blog entry on how I make it).
3.  Did a DailyBooth photo wearing a white polar bear hat with scarf and mitts attached.
4.  Worked my butt off on medical transcription here and there.
5.  Had a nap on the recliner in the couch.
6.  Took off my long-sleeved black hoodie and put on my black Pink Floyd T-Shirt I got from Value Village on the weekend.
7.  Took extra strength Advil liquid capsules with Lady Grey tea to fight a headache.
8.  Ran up and down the stairs multiple times for kid-related things.
9.  Sat outside in the midday sun, on a park bench, on the deck by my office door, talking to my homeopathic doctor about dry skin on hands of one of my kids.
10.  Wrote this pointless blog entry.

While away the minutes and read more of my writing in the chronologically ordered entries in the right hand column.  Here are a few samples:

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

How I Make Oatmeal

I like the title of this blog.  Sounds like something a fourth grade teacher would assign their class.

And it is something the average fourth-grader should easily be able to accomplish.

Here is the healthy way I eat oatmeal.  It's way better for you than that pre-packaged stuff, and cheaper, too.

Step 1:  I get the jar of bulk quick oats, like so:

Step 2:  Take 1/4 cup of dem oats and put 'em in a bowl, like dis:

Step 3: (But really it doesn't HAVE to be step 3 - you might already have water in your kettle... and you could have turned the kettle on already.)

I add filtered drinking water to the kettle because our tap water is not to my liking.

Step 4:  Add 1/4 cup of raisins to the bowl.

Step 5:  Add a nice sized glop of coconut oil to the bowl.  (Tons of info online about the health benefits of coconut oil.  Here's just one link to get you started.)

Step 6:   Sprinkle in some cinnamon (around 1/4 tsp, or however much you desire).

Step 7:   Shake in some Celtic sea salt (I buy the crystal kind and grind some up in a spice grinder every few weeks to keep in the salt shaker).

Step 8:  Add a tiny scoop of organic stevia.

Step 9:  Add boiling water, just enough to cover the whole thing and then some.

Step 10:  After stirring, let it sit for a few minutes (3-5 minutes is sufficient).

Step 11:  Add a splash of organic unsweetened soy milk.  Stir it up and enjoy!

If you are used to pre-packaged instant oatmeal, it may take some time for you to grow accustomed to the taste and texture of this stuff, but for the sake of health, it is worth doing. I love it, but I've broken away from the sugar habit, so, to me, this is a sweet treat.

If you like my writing, check out some more of my entries, which are arranged chronologically in the right hand column of this blog.  Here are a few samples:

Thursday, 17 May 2012

For The Record, My Heart Is Sore

Some days I feel so lonely.

So many things combine to result in a state of being overwhelmed.

Today, my man took our two boys out so I could get my work done.  Our little girl has been napping for a few hours.  I crave this silence sometimes, but then when I get it, I feel aware of how alone I am, and it's not a good feeling.

I'm getting some work done, but I'm thinking too much, and it's mostly about unpleasant sheeyite.

Re-reading one of my blog entries didn't help matters - this one:

Wow, I Love Being Ignored - Don't You? Ugh.


Stuff I just won't write, but wish I could talk to someone about it, and that someone would care.

It's a fleeting moment, surely.

Life does get better, I know.

The waiting is the hardest part, but I don't even feel like looking up that Tom Petty song.  The sad one I already posted above will suffice.

Do you know what I mean?  Do you ever feel like this, where there are some things that weigh you down - things that are hard to explain even if you did have someone to talk to?  And even if you did talk about it, you fear the listener would only diminish your feelings by not understanding because they couldn't possibly?

More of my writing from past blog entries can be found in the right hand column of this page.

Here are a few samples:

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Foiling Your Own Kid's Shoplifting Attempt

In the fall of 2009, I was in the local Save-On Foods with my then-17-year-old daughter, to whom I refer in my blogging as "Nirvana".

I saw Nirvana trying on sunglasses, and she left a pair on her head as she walked away to join me at the check-stand.

While I was standing in line, I jotted a note on the back of my grocery list, which I handed to the cashier when it was my turn.

She silently read it, which said, "My daughter is trying to steal those sunglasses she's wearing".

The cashier gave me a look that said she understood, and then she picked up the phone and quietly spoke into it.

Within seconds, a manager showed up and stood at the front of the store.

As we were leaving, the manager blocked Nirvana's way and said, "Were you planning on paying for those sunglasses?"

Nervi tried to act all innocent like she forgot she was wearing them.

Uh-huh, sure.  Innocent.  I knew she'd done a lot more stealing than just that.

I mean, come on, I've been there myself when I was her age.

And I've paid my dues.

She got off easy.  The manager let her go with a warning, telling her not to come back in the store.

I myself had to work at keeping an innocent face while laughing inwardly over foiling her shoplifting attempt.

I've told the story many times since then, including, a few years later, to Nirvana, who also laughs now that she's far from anything to do with stealing.

How about you - would YOU narc on your own child?

Some things we parents just HAVE to do for our children.  Like they're gonna do it themselves?

YouTube:  "Good Morning, Judge" by 10cc

With tough love,

PS:  Like I said, Nirvana is FAR from her old thievery days.  Read more about her at this blog entry:

Also check out the growing list of entries listed chronologically in the right hand column of this blog.
Here are a few quickies:

Monday, 7 May 2012

The M-Dawg Facebook Repartee

Here we have another Facebook repartee.

My first one is at this link, and, who knows, there may be more still.

As always, I've renamed the characters, including myself.

Argyle McArgyle (I hope he doesn't smack me for having dubbed him that) lived a few houses down the road from me when we were nine until some time after grad.  Although we went to different elementary schools, we did suffer through the same prisons without bars for our "high school" years.

The other main character shall be called Santori Mafioso, who moved to our town from the States and was in my fifth grade class for awhile (also from whom I hope I do not receive a smack for his pseudonym), until he got suspended and moved to another class for allegedly bringing a forbidden substance to school.

One of my friends back then, a New Zealander who I will call Cutty Sark, coaxed me to tell Santori,  "Go home, Yankee".

So, being a bit of a brat, I said it.  (Sorry, San!)

And Santori tried to beat me up.  (See?  The Mafioso name fits.)

Cutty called him a bully, and Santori backed off, albeit seemingly grudgingly.

Anyway, that's the bit of back story.

And to be fair, I have renamed myself as Cowbell Lutefisk.

Consistent with my lifetime of brattery (shut up, Spell-Check, that IS a word in MY books), I started calling Argyle something random - the truth here, I called him "A-Dawg".

Well, I frequently post songs on my Facebook wall, and when I posted something from Led Zeppelin's "Physical Graffiti", Argyle commented to the effect of that being their best album.

One day shortly after that, I ... Well, here's the conversation to explain it: 

Cowbell Lutefisk shared a link (on Argyle McArgyle's wall).
"Yo A-Dawg, I was listening to this in my car today and I thunk-a-you. Yeah, maybe you're right - it may be their best album. So hard to choose, really."

 (Full version of In My Time Of Dying by Led Zeppelin here)

Cowbell Lutefisk Warning:  I was just listening to it on my headset while setting up my work stuff and discovered that whoever uploaded it didn't upload the whole thing. DANG it cuts off improperly. 

Argyle McArgyle It's probably a bit dependent on your mood... 

Cowbell Lutefisk  Good thing I'm not bipolar. 

Cowbell Lutefisk ‎(No offence to those who are). 

Argyle McArgyle  its just a bit more complex. my favourite anyway.  

Santori Mafioso The only reason why this is my favorite is because there is MORE! They are all great in their own way and it is absolutely dependant on your mood. And you don't have to be bi-polar to appreciate this! LOL 

Argyle McArgyle tru dat, M-dawg 

Santori Mafioso Please do not ever call me that again! 

Cowbell Lutefisk snort!!!!!!!!!!! 

Argyle McArgyle sorry m-dawg 

Cowbell Lutefisk yeah, M-Dawg. sorry you gotta be called M-Dawg. 

Santori Mafioso Uh no not really 

Argyle McArgyle  i won't call him m-dawg again. now he is the-one-who-does-not-wish-to-be-called-m-dawg 

Cowbell Lutefisk  Or The Artist Formerly Known As M-Dawg.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

And that's as far as it went.

I hope I don't wake up in the morning to find a horse's head in my bed for having published this.

With a bratty grin,

Comments?  Leave me one in the box below labeled, ironically enough, "Post a Comment".

Read more of my shtuff in the archives ordered chronologically in the right hand column of this blog, or here are a few quick random picks: