I sat in the hallway of my old high school on a bench beside a window, reading a huge book of poems by Bob Dylan I'd borrowed from the library.
Although I was enjoying the book, the real reason I was on that bench was in hopes of catching a glimpse of this guy I liked.
I was in love with a boy who didn't love me.
(There's a song here by Cheap Trick)
Oh, we were friends - partners in crime even. We hung out together sometimes, but other times he avoided me and I knew it.
I had boyfriends, some good, some bad, but none of them stuck. All through high school, since I met him in grade 9, he was the one I really wanted.
He was cute, and cool, and he played guitar.
He had a job and he had a car.
He was smart, creative, and witty, and he made me smile.
He came from the same kind of background as me
A rebel, a dysfunctional family
A mystery, a sinner, a friend, a heart-breaker with style.
I'm not feeling creative enough to rhyme the time he stole a pair of my jeans, nor about when he showed up blithering drunk at my parents' house late one night and I somehow swiped his black leather jacket.
 |
| Age 17, playing his guitar, at his house, picture taken by him. |
We've kept in touch sporadically, running into each other here and there, and over the past few years even chatting the odd time on Facebook. I still consider him a friend. I've long ago gotten over the insane infatuation, of course, realizing that any guy who's going to ignore me isn't worth chasing, but at the time, in my wild and untrained youth, he was the only reason I stayed in school.
Foolishness of the past? Or lesson learned? I'm leaning towards lesson.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Can you relate? Did you ever love someone who didn't love you? Tell me about it - leave a comment!
From the heart,
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Related and semi-related posts:
- When I Was A Teenager
- Wow, I Love Being Ignored, Don't You? - Ugh!
- Poetry And Song Lyrics, My Own And Otherwise
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