Life, Love, Long Hair, Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth, and other mysteries

All this and more, from a semi-Serbian, slightly sane, former editor for physicians and surgeons, who is the mother of seven kids.

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Hamburger Helper Facebook Banter

From Saturday, April 21, 2012

The following is the banter that resulted from a Facebook status line of a friend, who has chosen his name to be Sir Basil.  As in all my blogging, all other names are changed, too.

"Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help."

Lady 1:  oy!

Man 1:  brilliant

Steeny:  LAUGHING LOUDLY HERE!!!!!!!!!!

Man 2:  What if Hamburger helper comes in the form of an intervention?

Steeny:  then it would be called Hamburger Intervention.

Man 3:  Hamburvention 

Lady 2:  Lol

Lady 2:  Good one!

Fish Burger:  Ah well. I guess it's time I admitted I have a hamburger problem 

Sir Basil:  ‎"I'm a meatitarian... I eat meat. It's a personal choice."

Steeny:  "Hi, my name is Steeny." (Hiiiiii Steeny). "And I've got a hamburger problem." (Welcome to Hamburger Anomymous, Steeny). 
Angus Patty:  There may be another way to look at this... What is the hamburger doing that it actually needs help? I mean really - It could be doing something that benefits society, or world peace (Unless you are a cow) or... maybe it is trying to take over the world in an insidious attempt give everyone Mad Cow disease... (The angry bovine thing, not the swapped t instead of a g in the gene sequence that creates a goofy prion... Just sayin... I mean really - what would hamburger need help with? Then again... it doesn't really have any arms... 

Steeny:  That was some good questioning, Angus Patty.

Angus Patty:  I do what I can... (Still smiling about your "Hi, my name is Steeny" bit - that was funny) 

Cecily:  Angus, you're getting too technical. Look at it from a different point of view...the hamburger meat is messed up, literally it is all mashed up. There's the proof that it needs help. If it was fine, it would be steak. 

Steeny:  I was just talking on the phone to my 19-year-old, formerly drug addicted, vegetarian daughter, Nirvana (she told me to tag her here) and had to read her your status line and some of these comments, Sir Basil, as I figured she'd appreciate them.

She said (and I typed as she spoke) that the hamburger probably has self-esteem issues and self-worth issues because it was brutally murdered and it blames itself because it doesn't know any better. It was raised to be killed. How can it know anything other than that?

Sir Basil:   Your daughter is warped - I like it :)

Steeny:  oh she is indeed - my kids are my favorite weirdos! :)

Angus Patty @ Cecily:  The mind does not always reflect the body... (How is that for .. Umm... ambient?)

@Steeny LOL - I think your daughter may have something there - somehow though, I do not think Dr. Phil would touch this one... As for Dr. Laura, she may, as it is not Pork. Then again, she would do the whole "tough Love your Burger" thing... Pop doctors aside, (No, I do not mean a side of doctors with pop) Trying to help these mutilated bovine is very.... MOOOOOOOoooooooving...

Steeny:  ‎"tough love your burger" - LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!

Steeny:  and Moooooooooooooooooooving, hahahaha! this thread has been hysterical!

Angus Patty:  The interesting thing is, that Dr. Laura would probably also tell the ground beef to "get a life", failing of course, to understand the irony of that statement. "And now a word from our sponsors"... (tag in music) "At Burger King, you can have it any way you like"... No wonder hamburger needs help. It is also clearly suffering form Stockholm Syndrome.

Steeny:  Poor, poor codependent burger.

Angus Patty:  HAHAHAHA... Yeah... LOL

Steeny:  Sir Basil, would you mind if I copied all of this (removing all names, of course) to use as an entry in my blog? (This one: )

Sir Basil:  Go for it! I'll just sit here and wait for the royalty checks to roll in...

Steeny:  Excellent. I will be sure to share the wealth. I'll hold off on posting it for a bit, in case further words of wisdom on the subject of dead cows makes itself known in here.

Steeny:  Upon thinking further, I should change names, rather than remove them, lest some parts lose their sense. Does anyone have any preferred pseudonyms? If not, I will just make some up.

Steeny:  (I'll wait till tomorrow at the least, to give people a chance to see this if they're not on FB anytime soon, to think about an answer.)

Sir Basil:  Thing One and Thing Two?

Sir Basil:  Okay, you can call me "Sir Basil", ____ can be "Sir Jeffery", and ____ is "Cecily". I dunno about the rest of them :) 

Steeny:  ok! heeheheeee this is gonna be fun! (i'll wait to see if there are any objections or corrections to those suggestions, first, though). 

Fish Burger:  Call me fish Burger. :-)

Angus Patty:  Being as we are dealing with Cattle, it is tempting to try for a rugged western name... I dunno... say... John Wayne or some such... I am not thinking Sir Jeffery (The whole shtick would with what is implied would be a bit uncomfortable I think) Angus Patty? 

Steeny:  Angus Patty!!! ROFL! or vice versa for a girl. 

Angus Patty:  NICE

So, there we have it - a banter session from Facebook, unedited except for the name changes.

What did you think?  Am I the only one laughing at this?  Should I do more of them? 


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